sorry about my prolonged absence gentlemen. i say gentlemen even though i know most of you are the kind of scoundrels that would trick or cheat a fine young lady into bed.... but that is why i like you. we are kindred spirits. so anyway what was i saying? ah yes, my absence. well lets just say i've been a little busy. working for the mighty GNB isn't easy, and those north koreans are very tricky customers indeed.

i want to talk today about Charlie Sheen. and you want to read about him, don't you? of course you do.

me and charlie go back a long way. a helluva long way. and we enjoy the same things, women, gambling, winning. especially winning.

did you know me and charlie sheen both know bree olsen? and when i say know... i mean KNOW. inside and out if ya catch my drift. she's a lovely women. not a hint of daddy issues. okay neither of those statements are true. not even nearly. she DOES, however, have a fantastic body. and that is what matters!

so you're probably wondering how we did it. well actually, you're probably just thinking "meh two amazing looking guys (one better looking than the other though) they probably just gave her the look and that was it" and you would be WRONG!

girls like bree, despite being used to ahem "being on camera" are notoriously difficult to bag. so how does one game, mack, sarge, score whatever you wanna call it, a girl like her?

girls are like video games. i use this analogy because if you are reading this, then you are probably very familiar with video games. i personally, don't play them. but that is because they are too easy for me. they frustrate me with the very nature of how simple they are.

every video game has an objective, an overall mission that must be completed. the mission in this case, is to get laid.

doing certain things within the game will allow you to progress a little further in the game. saying certain things to a women will allow you to get a little closer to being in her pants.

what are her weaknesses? certain bosses on a game will have a flaw which you have to exploit. certain women have an issue that must be exploited also!

ill post the rest tomorrow... those pesky god damn north koreans...

barney x